Feelings.....

I have never been good at writing, sharing my feelings and knowing how to say things. I envy people that do... My sister Trista had emailed me a link of a girl that explains EXACTLY how I am feeling. I could have never written it like her. http://www.tofw.com/Its-Good-Life-Isnt-Fair-Calee-Reed/s/914 
She pretty much is in the same position as 
me, besides the fact that my Mom is alive 
but just far away. I was skyping my parents 
earlier today and Liam was screaming
but I still had a smile on my face. They kept
telling me how amazing it was that I was 
still smiling even when he screams like that.
My Mom says she could 
have never done it, although I think that is
 a lie :). I took Liam to his 
doctor appointment 
and she experienced a little 
of what I was going 
through when Liam started 
screaming bloody murder. She started 
laughing and kept saying how impressive
 it was and how 
she doesn't think she has ever heard 
a baby scream 
that loud and hard.
You seriously should have heard her... 
She was laughing 
for like 5 minutes just saying "Wow! That is
so impressive." I tell you he is a 
screamer pretty
much all day long.. There are times 
where I just 
break down when I can't handle it 
anymore but
I always tell myself 
that I need to keep at it for Liam.
He needs me 
and I can't let him down. I so 
wish my parents
were here to help me through this 
but I know 
that I'm getting so many
different blessings with having them 
on a mission. I'm so
 grateful for that!  
As challenging as Liam is, 
he is my everything. 
I love him more and more every day.
I'm so thankful Heavenly
Father has blessed me with
 him in my life. 
Sometimes I wonder why He 
thought I could 
handle this but he obviously 
knows me better
than I do. Liam is not a perfect 
baby but he's MY perfect baby and 
I wouldn't 
trade him for anything! 

Now here's some pictures to kinda

show you what 

Liam looks like pretty much all day :)

 Seeing this face though makes it all worth it!

Also, remembering this moment of the first time 
I held MY perfect baby!